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The Great Extraterrestrial Extreme Protectress (feat. Sixteen Inch Chau Gong)


by Andrew Borakove April 05, 2017

 

 

A gong, gong time ago- in a galaxy which surrounds us-

The Great Extraterrestrial Extreme Protectress (or GEEP for short), exhausted from long hours of keeping our vulnerable piece of space real estate safe from Aggressive Interlopers, took a rest. Sleeping in the cool glow of a solar system, the planets like night lights. She needed to revivify her energy orbs with the restorative light of a million suns. Then Aggressive Interlopers, their gelatinous brain sacs oozing with aggression and Interloperingness, saw that her back was turned and chose this moment of her respite to strike.

 

But the Protectress was not phased by their aggression. For she had recalled (as all Protectresses recall) that in times of rest and peace (as well as times of Protectressing)- a 16" CHAU GONG can mean the difference between living to Protectress another Galactic minute... which is longer than your life squared, or ending up as a cloud of space dust, or worse, a glob of space goo.

As the aggressive interloping rays sped toward her, she struck the 16" Chau Gong, and it emanated waves of calm, opening her senses and allowing her to ascertain the rays' proximity. When the rays had nearly reached her and the interlopers thought they'd won the day- the Protectress turned to face them, 16" Chau gong at the fore. The rays struck the gong and returned posthaste to their point of origin, evaporating every single interloper in one fell swoop.

 

 

The Protectress rolled back over and went to sleep. Dreaming of space flowers and space sheep. The 16" Chau Gong - sending out good waves and helping to keep the universe safe since time immemorial.

 




Andrew Borakove
Andrew Borakove

Author




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