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Mallets of the Month: Unlimited Alien Friction Mallets

by Max Holmquist February 04, 2020

Gongs Unlimited Exclusive: Shocking footage revealed for the first time! You won't believe your eyes! Evidence that our government has been working with interstellar and/or interdimensional entities to create alien-gong mallet hybrids. These mallets have been tested and found to have REAL. ALIEN. DNA.

Click here to see, purchase, and study these Alien Friction Mallets.

We've been given exclusive access to the subterranean base where a coalition of governments has been working with discarnate intelligence to develop the most advanced gong friction mallets in this universe or any other in the 4th dimension.

Watch as Dr. Holsum Ness and Mackenzie Dental Dam present these mallets in-depth and try them on various gongs:

Max Holmquist

Author

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