Sometimes a man just has to stand up and say to the world, "Yes, I am a classic male, a man made for masculine things, a man who knows where his testosterone comes from, a man who has snapped towels at other men in the shower, but in a manly way!
I am a man who drinks his beer from the bottle or can directly, who grows hair around his nipples but doesn't worry about how it looks under a white T shirt.
I am a man who can aggressively eat ribs and yet, casually wipe extra sauce on my pants while discussing the nature of what makes a good or bad military intervention, and then smoothly shift the conversation to football in order to make sure the veterans in the room don't get riled up.
I am this man, who is NOT the most interesting man in the world... that is, until I hold a gong, and not just any gong, but this gong, the 11 INCH CHE SUI GONG!!! And then I am more interesting than him.
Because a man like this knows, and will tell you, "This 11 inch Che Sui Gong I hold in my hand is a gong that sounds so amazing it makes me even more of a man. It makes a man like me, get wizard vision in my eyes and the healing voice of a romantic crooner. When I play this gong while giving blood, my platelets cure the recipients of Ennui, Dilettantism, and Restless Egg Syndrome. When a man of my caliber plays a gong of this caliber, the combination is more powerful than Jay-Z and Beyonce, it is like the very force of electromagnetism that surrounds us. Now please get my Gong a drink!"
You could be this man.
And don't get us started what it does for a woman who plays this gong. A woman with this gong? This guy above becomes her back-up singer.
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