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The Emoticonference Gong Combo


by Andrew Borakove October 13, 2017

The Conference Room.

We've all been there. Even preschoolers.

Nothing like sitting around the round table giant pile of play-dough in front of you, nosepicker to the left of you, Mister ADHD to the right.

Your teacher, Miss Sniffly Just-Broke-Up-With-My-Boyfriend (She is your Boss from 9 to 12, basically.) telling you what she wants to see done today. "Get Creative, Kids! (sob) We need painted clay lumps to give to your parents! (sniffle) Good looking ones! I can't lose my job, after losing that two-timing scumbag jerkface! (grrrr!) Now leave me alone so I can text my BFF about what a jerk my ex-beau is!"

The Conference Room.

A place where managers and veeps get to show you how they think God should act, by how they act. Is their vision of the Divine Compassionate? Wrathful? Indecisive?

The Conference Room.

Where powerpoints lose their power, tears are shed, assistants are lusted after, and lunches are eaten and then the odors left for days.

YES! THE CONFERENCE ROOM CAN GET FUGLY, MY FRIENDS.

THAT IS WHY YOU NEED OUR EMOTICONFERENCE GONG!!!

Whenever a meeting is going poorly, when people are talking too long about sales at Banana Republic, when numbskulls are waxing philosophic about the mundane, when someone's talking about felons, melons, or secrets that don't need tellin'--- YOU NEED TO ADVANCE THE MOMENT.

This gong can do it. It will let you put a sound emoticon at the end of a sentence. ;)

Your face and being will be able to create the false smile, the overly happy smile, the wink and nod, and if necessary the tongue out icky face too.


Andrew Borakove
Andrew Borakove

Author




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